How and why I started RebornAt40.com
I realised I was maintaining my life instead of building it.
Around 40, I started asking myself a simple question: if everything looks fine on the surface, why does it feel like I’ve lost direction?
I registered RebornAt40.com on 29th May 2024 — just a few months before my 39th birthday.
It was around that time I realised my life wasn’t turning out as I’d expected, and I was only just starting to admit it.
My son Alex was about 4.5 years old. My long-term relationship was unexpectedly falling apart, and deep down I felt my personal life was about to change significantly — and not for the better — just as I was entering midlife.
I was disappointed with the trajectory of my life and, deep down, craved a positive change — a course correction. Something that would give me momentum — a breath of fresh air — so I could pick myself up.
After 17 years of pursuing education and a better life in London, I ended up living by myself. My parents had aged significantly, my dad was ill, and we were thousands of miles apart. I was about to start co-parenting, and Alex — my little best friend — became the centre of my life.
I was a dad turning 40, stepping into unknown territory. It felt like I was starting life again.
And on top of that, I was expected to be an example for my son. I looked at Alex and realised how much he would pick up from me — not from what I say, but from what I do. He is neurodivergent, on an educational and healthcare plan, attending a special school, and now he had to navigate a co-parenting situation without living with both parents at the same time.
And then I looked at myself.
A 40-year-old rookie parent. Smoker. Overweight. Undiagnosed ADHD. About to become the benchmark for the development of the most important little human being on earth.
And I realised something uncomfortable. These small things — the everyday behaviours — are exactly the things he will copy. They will compound for him over years.
That made me think very differently.
If I don’t change them, he inherits them. If I do, I change what he inherits.
That thought was both terrifying and motivating.
Something else was happening too.
I felt like I was living on a London treadmill.
Life became focused on the everyday — work, bills, responsibilities, constant thinking, constant pressure. Everything felt tight, and I was doing my best to keep everything together.
I started to realise how different my life had become from what I once imagined. I used to be creative. I used to dance, draw, write, explore different interests. Over time, as I got older and the list of daily responsibilities grew longer, that gradually disappeared.
From the outside, everything looked fine. I worked hard. The bills got paid. Nothing was obviously wrong.
And yet, something felt different.
The curiosity and energy I once had — to explore, build, learn, or start something new — was harder to access. The weeks moved quickly, but little actually changed. I stayed busy, but it didn’t feel like progress.
Life got structured and full, and somewhere along the way I stopped creating and started maintaining.
I was living in everyday mode. The same routine of adulthood in a big city. Little sense of control. Already halfway through that thing called life.
That realisation hit me quite hard.
Is that it?
Is this really how it goes?
There must be something more to life.
At the core, I was trying to answer a simple question: how do I show up and perform in my 40s — instead of sleepwalking through them?
And underneath that, there was something even deeper.
What if I could become the architect of my own potential in midlife?
I’m very grateful and lucky because I have a great job that I genuinely enjoy. I work with people I respect, in an environment that feels close and challenging in a good way.
And life threw me an opportunity at the right time.
I got promoted to Head of Precious Metals Trading in November 2025, just two months after I turned 40. At the same time, the gold and silver market was in a huge rally, with prices hitting all-time highs and putting the trading desk under pressure — but also opening opportunity.
To grow. To prove myself. To perform.
And to achieve that, there was only one thing I needed to do: show up and perform.
I looked at myself and said, “Roger that. I can do that.”
On 2nd January 2026, at the age of 40 and 3 months, I put myself on a new experimental mission: to become the highest-performing version of myself in my 40s.
Instead of another short-lived New Year’s resolution, I wanted to do something meaningful. Something I would remember. Something that would define the decade.
And this is how the idea for a 100 Day Reset experiment was born.
The reset started as a simple experiment. I focused on the most obvious things first.
If I want to perform, I need to be rested — so I focused on sleep. Waking up early. Going to bed properly. Removing distractions.
Then I started observing myself. What works? What doesn’t?
I began adding small improvements. Nothing extreme. Just things I could stick to even on the busiest days.
After a few weeks, those small actions turned into a list of non-negotiables:
No smoking
No alcohol
Eat within calories
Daily walks
Journaling
Reading before bed
No phone in bed
Sleep as a priority
Something started to shift.
The list grew longer, but it stopped feeling like effort and started feeling like momentum. I started seeing results. At some point, optimising my life stopped being a chore and became something I actually looked forward to.
Like I was finally directing my life instead of just reacting to it. Like I was building a character in my own game — adding new features and powers.
Looking back, what made the biggest difference wasn’t anything complicated.
Once that started working, everything else became easier. I had more energy, more clarity, and more control over my days.
From there, I began to observe myself more closely, adding small improvements one by one. Nothing extreme. Just things I could actually stick to.
And something shifted. It stopped feeling like effort and started to feel like momentum — like I was finally directing my life again instead of reacting to it.
Looking at it now, I don’t think I just lost a few hobbies.
I lost something deeper.
I lost that curious part of me — the one that questioned things, explored, and followed its own interests. The part of me that didn’t just consume life, but actively create, learn, and experiment.
Over time, as life got busier, that side of me slowly went quiet. Not because I chose to give it up, but because I stopped making space for it.
And I could feel that something important was missing.
So in my 40s, I want to reconnect with that part of myself.
And writing felt like the most natural way to do it.
For me, RebornAt40 is more than just writing. It’s a way of figuring things out properly.
Most of what I came across told me what to do, but not how to actually do it.
And a lot of it quietly assumes that life plateaus in your 40s — that you stop building and start maintaining, that you accept things as they are and play defence.
I don’t want that.
RebornAt40 is my way of doing the opposite. It’s where I try to understand things for real, test them in my own life, and document what actually works.
It’s also a personal project. A second foundation. Something that is mine — not my job, not my responsibilities — but something I build for myself.
And over time, something that could become a body of work. Something my son could one day look at and see not just what I said, but how I lived.
Looking back, registering RebornAt40.com wasn’t just a random idea.
It was a line.
On one side, there was fear, uncertainty, and the feeling that I was already halfway through life without fully becoming who I could be.
On the other side, there was a decision.
To take ownership. To get off that treadmill and start shaping my life deliberately — creating, building, and moving forward.
I realised that the direction of my life isn’t decided by big moments, but by small things I repeat every day.
And those small things compound.
In ten years, they become who you are.
RebornAt40 was my way of crossing that line — of saying this is where I take control, and this is where I start building again.
Welcome to RebornAt40.com.
And if you managed to read this to the end — thank you. I know how busy life gets.